Does Tim Meadows know about this?  The Ladie's Man has gotta get a piece of the action from the new clothing line announced by Courvoisier, dontcha think?

 

 

I wonder if he died of a heart attack?  The man behind the "stress test," Dr. Robert A. Bruce, died at his Seattle home last week.  His pioneering work advanced the ability to diagnose heart disease by devising the treadmill stress test.....

 

 

You probably ate about 2 pounds of lard back in 2002: And you ate almost 27 pounds of bananas and 15.6 pounds of apples.  At least that's according to the 2003 Statistical Abstract of the United States, a nifty little 1,030-page book going on sale this week.....

 

 

Didja hear about the teenager that duped an Ohio car dealership into delivering a $123,000 BMW to him--at high school?  I wonder if he'll be voted most likely to do prison time.....

 

 

Gotten tooled around by horrible on-line customer service?  The newest strategy to sooth the savage beast: Toll-free apologies.  Don't forget to hold their feet to the fire and get compesated for your lousy experience...Dover's Six Steps To Effective Complaining still delivers terrific results over 90% of the time.....

 

 

Let's talk about GREAT customer service for a change: It’s the slow-time of year and interest rates are at ridiculously low levels.  What other kicks-in-the-butt do you need to move into the home ownership world? Maybe you already own a home and just need to re-fi your investment, now's the time to get off the proverbial dime. Ben's no-brainer choice? W.R. Starkey Mortgage has the Dover Seal of Approval because they're the best, no-B.S. mortgage company in the nation...period. They consistently deliver on their company credo: "A different kind or mortgage company where people come first."  

If you're considering taking the home ownership plunge this year, get smart(er) about the process:  Click here to get your free copy of Ben's 2004 Home Buyer's Guide.  

Take the Dover-proven route to stress-free financing and take advantage of these low interest rates: Do it all on-line or on the phone with the official mortgage company of www.benjamindover.com and your first (and only) stop: W.R. Starkey Mortgage.  Find a location near you or call their main number, toll-free: (888) 282-6632

 

Wanna book a bunch of tickets to vagrants? You might end up having your patience tested in you're a Travelocity customer: They just announced plans to export 300 telephone/customer service/call center jobs to India, so those tickets to "Vegas" might getcha a vacation with a buncha street people instead.  Oh this should be fun.....

 

While we're on the topic of Travelocity, it's worth nothing that they're out to take the fiction outta renting a car: If you've ever been knocked off your feet by a final car rental bill loaded with an assortment of hidden fees and surcharges, there may be hope for all of us.  Here's why.

 

...or click here to watch Ray Stafin, Sr. (from Manufacturer's Auto Leasing).

 

Speaking of proving you've really got kids, getting passports for 'em is getting tougher than ever before: Here's why.

Still need to score a Valentine's Day  Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday or St. Patty's Day gift on a budget?  Here's a gift that'll keep on giving, all year long!  Give 'em a subscription to the Dose of Dover...the most reliable source of insight and no s*** ideas available on the planet.  (You can afford it...it's free!)  Time to share the wealth!  Sign-up for a subscription to the weekly Dose of Dover Newsletter right here
 

 

The Tax Man Cometh, Part II: Speaking of taxes, wanna try to contain your tax return prep costs this year by using an over-the-counter software program?  The New York Times rates the packages as they take you for a spin down Route 1040.....

 

 

Love and marriage, Part I: How was your Valentine's Day? It wasn't so great for those plastic romance icons, Barbie & Ken: As mentioned in this newsletter last year, it's been a stormy relationship for B&K; ever since Ken was caught with her (former best) friend Midge, it's been downhill and time to bring on the legal fees.  Now it really is official: Barbie and Ken are officially splitting up...worth re-cycling: Look for the new "Divorced Barbie" doll later this Spring: It'll come complete with Ken's house, half of his IRAs and 401Ks, as well as 43 years worth of palimony.....

 

As long as we're talkin' about Valentine's Day, it's never too late to make up for a crappy gift. Okay, so you didn't set anyone on fire with your creativity last weekend.  You can still save the deal: Here are some gift ideas that'll stretch your love-budget a little further..... 
    Incredible flowers--not overpriced roses--but beautiful and affordable flowers sent direct from Hawaii!
    Give the lady in your life something she'll like for a change?
    Reverse the hands of time--for him or for her?
    Send a gift that they'll love (and you can afford)?

 

Love and marriage, Part II: "I kinda love ya, so will you marry me...a little?"  Are the French on the cutting edge?  They've created a slew of legal alternatives to wedding vows, called PACS.  Could it catch on here?  If the lawyers have anything to say about it, I doubt it.....

Since we're on the subject of keeping you informed and in the loop, do you know what’s on your credit report? Here’s how to get a free copy, right here/right now! C'mon Einstein, your credit scores change every single hour–when was the last time you saw a copy of yours? Click here and get a look at your reports...

There’s no such thing as a free lunch: Just because they position themselves as a source for a "free credit report," it doesn’t mean that they’re really free. They’ll give you a free 30-day trial with the hope that you won’t cancel and you’ll stick around for an entire year, but this service really is free if you cancel before the 30-days is up, so go for it.

Forget trash scams, gambling, protection money or drugs. The easy money for "The Mob" these days?  Your telephone!!!  They've reached out and touched someone alright...(all of us!) to the tune of $200 million over the last five years.  Pour a glass of Chianti and read more.....

Dontcha love the amazing resources I compile every week in the Dose of Dover? Good! Then don't whine about having to sign-up for free access: Like anything in life, there's always gonna be a trade-off on some level. I embed dozens of links in every edition of this newsletter, and my frequent sources, The New York Times, The Dallas Morning News, The Los Angeles Times, The Orange County Register and USA Today require varying levels of registration in order to access their websites for free...with one small caveat: If you try to hit an older story, there's a reasonable chance that the news organization has either moved the story to a new URL, or to their archives.  If it's archived, there's a high probability that they'll charge you for access to the story...usually under $3.  Don't whine about it...just pay 'em if you wanna read it--or not.  It's always your choice.

Also worth noting: Nowhere is it written that you have to give accurate information when you sign up for free access on their website. They'd like you to, but they'll never really know. So use a disposable e-mail address (like Hotmail or Yahoo) and get creative when you register.  But just remember: They/we are giving you a tremendous service for a great price...free!  So no complaining.....

When life happens (and it always will), money can get awfully tight.  Don't make bad decisions that make a lousy situation even worse. Here's where you can get your hands on Ben's popular pull-no-punches books and fire the debt collectors!  Or maybe you need to take legal actions and clear the slate in '04?  Read more here.....

 

(I wonder if Howard Stern's getting a licensing fee outta this one.)  It's Buttman! America's newest anti-hero.

 

 

Just because they told you they'd "erase" it for you doesn't mean they will: You're not really gonna trust all of your private phone numbers or delicate financial/personal information to perfect strangers–are you?  Guiding you through life's mine field, one deleted file at a time, check out the February 19, 2004 edition of Ask Benjamin Dover from The Dallas Morning News right here!