Benjamin Dover At His Best!

Good Tuesday morning! Here's your

Dose of Dover:

Still your most reliable source for un-common sense insight and

cover-your-backside strategies this new year and beyond.

Take your best shot...try to put me out of a job!

How? Make everyone a ~~little~~ lot smarter:

Forward this to everyone in your Address Book!

[C'mon...be a big shot!]

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Lots of eye-opening information posted on

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Tuesday, April 13, 2004

"It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark."

Wanna talk to a customer service rep who speaks "authentic American English"? This newest option allows us to bypass Bombay-based telereps for a price: Convenience is the trade-off for those of us wanting stateside assistance. Are you prepared for your transaction to take a little longer? Pass the curry and read more.....

Breathing hard/breathing easier...yet more reason to take Viagra: It's not just for guys with E.D. anymore.....[Excuse me Doc, but I think my (wink-wink) asthma is acting up again.....]

I've never been a big fan of the over-priced brews at Starbucks...but their newest innovation could definitely change my opinion, and serves as "proof" that they're trying to appeal to everyone. [Cheers!]

Sleepwalking is so passé...try the hottest "diagnosis" of the 21st century: Sleep-eating.....

The key to avoiding automobile acquisition-related brain-damage? Deal with an honest company in the first place! No matter where you're located, Manufacturer's Auto Leasing delivers on that promise, and more. They've got the Dover Endorsement because they really are auto experts you can trust. Check 'em out for yourself.....

Click here to get a free copy of Ben's (recent) Smart Car Seminar guide to avoiding car-buying heartburn.....

Could youth-oriented apparel retailer Abercrombie & Fitch be making fun of an entire state, insinuating that incest is a way of life there? Yeah...it kinda looks that way, Jethro.....

Alotta folks were shell-shocked out of flying the suddenly not-so-friendly skies after the events of September 11, 2001 unfolded, so they took the streets and decided driving would be a safer way to go: NostraDover called this one again back in October '01--they were wrong......

From the "where's the ACLU when you need 'em?" files, Part I: Is the Transportation Security Administration discriminating against fliers? Apparently the "no fly" list is no fun for some of you attempting to navigate the friendly skies.....

Know how to find a new landlord that'll not only give you free rent, but will even move you for free? Simple! And just one click away.....

Speaking of navigating at the airport, you're never gonna believe the latest sales pressure point upsetting travelers these days: Then again, if you've rented a car recently, maybe you already know about the games rental car companies play? If there's a rental car anywhere in your future, you've gotta read this one, kids......

From the "where's the ACLU when you need 'em?" files, Part II: Could you be on a renter's blacklist? You don't even have a lousy credit report to make this one, either.....

Overweight? It might not be all of those trips to McDonald's after all! You've gotta read about the woman who lost a quick 176-pounds, without gastric bypass surgery (and in just a few hours).....

Could that Super-Sized Whopper cost you more than a 3-pack-a-day nicotine habit? According to one of the world's biggest insurance companies, yes it will. Skip the Oreos and read more.....

While we're on the subject of McFood, didja hear the latest innovation from that last bastion of nutritional conscience? I guess they're gonna call it McAtkins.....

Mother's Day. Graduation. Weddings. You don't have to kiss your cash goodbye when you've got an affordable and reliable source for all types of jewelry or watches! Learn how to avoid getting hosed. Check out my diamond/jewelry buying tips and on-line buying resource...all assembled in one easy-to-reference section.....

Hey there, Mom & Dad! If you're gonna continue to let the TV be your babysitter, at least know how to program the free "Parental Controls" that come with most sets these days: Here's your step-by-step censorship source.....

Having a hard time picking the winning 6-numbers in your local lottery? Tell ya what I'm gonna do...I'll give you this website address that'll undoubtedly help you succeed in your quest for instant riches, and you send me 25% of your take. Deal?

Check out my moving tips section here...and remember the key to lowering your chances for financial and emotional heartbreak starts by choosing the right moving company choice. Exodus Moving is a great North Texas example of dependability and just as important, affordability.

Unpacking after a big move doesn't have to be total brain-damage, either: Ben's choice for unpacking and organizing expertise that won't bust your bank account? Tiffany Pine-Lastelick and her team of organizational experts at InOrder.....

Moving to a new house, condo or apartment? Then you'd better change the locks! If you live in North Texas, I've already found the first/last/only reliable locksmith you'll ever use: Chief Safe & Lock (214) 827-7535 (answered 24/7)

Didja know that nearly half of you face higher health risks because you're receiving medical attention? It's not what they say, but how they're saying it. "Take two aspirin PRN" and call me in the morning...

Interest rate are down one week and up the next. I'm not smart enough to know the tops or bottoms of the market, are you? Last week they were up...who knows what to expect this week? Read more and you just might.....

W.R. Starkey Mortgage has the Dover Seal of Approval because they're still the best, no-B.S. mortgage company in the nation...period. They consistently deliver on their company credo: "A different kind or mortgage company where people come first."

Get smart(er) about the process from start to finish: Click here to get your free copy of Ben's 2004 Home Buyer's Guide.

Experience what stress-free financing is supposed to be like and take advantage of incredibly low interest rates: Do it all on-line W.R. Starkey Mortgage, or find a location near you: (888) 282-6632

Do you know a senior homeowner who's cash poor but is sitting on a wad of equity? Read how to flush out some cash so they can enjoy the riches of their years of hard work. It's non-taxable cash that allows 'em to travel, pay for medications or hire health care professionals that, in turn, allows them to stay in their homes longer. Turn up the speakers and learn more from Ben's streaming video archive.....

Mommie J-Lo hits it big on the Atlantic City slots: Does this mean Ben Affleck gets paid back for all of the baubles he showered his ex-fiancee's family with? Doubt it.....

Speaking of rich Moms...just a reminder that Mother's Day is coming up on Sunday (May 9th) and is now only 26 days away: Now's the time to place your order and secure your spot at the top of the Will. Send some beautiful flowers from Hawaii, aside from being amazingly-affordable, they'll last at least twice as long...FedEx-ed direct by our friends at www.tropicalcolors.com

Want the perfect anytime gift at a perfectly-affordable price? [Free!] Another Dover-inspired no-brainer.....

Happy Easter! You're busted, ya little brat! I hate it when 9-year olds are handcuffed and arrested while they're tryin' to get into the spirit of the season.....

It's not your parents' Easter anymore, Part II: Who needs to look for Easter eggs when you can find loaded firearms instead?

I know, I know. You really amazed by the number of resources I compile every week for ya in the Dose of Dover...great! Then don't whine about having to sign-up for free access to sites reference in these stories: Like anything in life, there's always gonna be a trade-off on some level. I embed dozens of links in every edition of this newsletter, and my frequent sources, The New York Times, The Dallas Morning News, The Los Angeles Times, The Orange County Register and USA Today require varying levels of registration in order to access their websites for free...with one small caveat: If you try to hit an older story, there's a reasonable chance that the news organization has either moved the story to a new URL, or to their archives. If it's archived, there's a high probability that they'll charge you for access to the story...usually under $3. Don't complain about it...just pay 'em if you wanna read it--or not. It's always your choice.

Also worth noting: Nowhere is it written that you have to give accurate information when you sign up for free access on their website. They'd like you to, but they'll never really know. So use a disposable e-mail address (like Hotmail or Yahoo) and get creative when you register. But just remember: They/we are giving you a tremendous service for a great price...free! So no complaining.....

Remember the famous line "I see dead people" from the movie "The Sixth Sense"? Apparently a buncha ghouls are taking this catch-phrase a little too far. Check out the hottest tourist attraction in Motown.....

Since our annual date with the taxman is only 2 days away, it's worth remembering where to go if you get one of those dreaded love-notes from the most powerful collection agency on the planet: For all of those IRS (or state) tax problems, get the most bang for your representation-buck from an Enrolled Agent. (Read more here.)

What in the name of Jose Eber is goin' on here? You're gonna love this latest story of intrigue, violence...and scissors-gone-wild!

Those gosh-darned Japanese are practically turning Puritanical on us? And you just thought we were deviant in those good ol' American red light districts.....

Wanna make sure you fire your best shot when you're pleading your case to the IRS? Hire an expert! Now's not the time to go cheap, especially if you're an Innocent Spouse. [Here's why!]...Plus: File for an extension on your 2003 tax return on-line or over the phone...and check up on that refund check they owe you! Guiding you through life's minefield (one W-2 at a time) check out the April 15, 2004 edition of Ask Benjamin Dover from The Dallas Morning News right here!



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