SCAMS, SCHEMES & CRIMES OF THE HEART

	This was a really interesting show and a topic that touches so many people...many more than anyone wants to admit to, I'm afraid. Here are some tips, insights and questions you need to ask yourself or someone you care about if you smell the "proverbial rat."
Airdate: February '98 The Leeza Gibbons Show on NBC

1. Setting the Stage-Everyone wants to be loved: They want to be wanted. They want to believe that their prayers have been answered, that their dreams realized. This desire to believe that their companionship quest has been fulfilled blinds folks that are smarter than what they might appear after they've been victimized.

2. How does someone become a target?

1. The newspaper is a great resource. Obituary columns give complete rundowns on a person's life, as well as their accomplishments and their survivors. Ahhhh yes, their survivors.

2. Increasingly hazardous and commonplace? On-line computer services. Matchmaker sections of national on-line computer services (like AOL) open up easy targets, many times including too much personal information and even photographs of likely targets.

3. Singles meeting places. Bars, dance clubs, even church-sponsored gatherings create an open season environment on folks looking for love but placing themselves at risk.

4. Public records.

3. What's the profile of a likely target? Two types of targets...split by age:

1. Women at clubs: Many times women looking for love set themselves up as targets. "Let me buy you a drink..." or "Will you dance with me again...and again and again...?" set the stage for the con man to begin playing "20 Questions" such as:
           -- So what do you do for a living?
           -- How long have you been divorced?
           -- How long had you been married?
           -- Oh, you own your own business?
           -- Where do you live?
           -- Oh, you own your home?
           -- Let me walk you out to your car....hey, nice car!

2. Warning Signs: What women should be on the look-out for, but won't open their eyes to see:
           -- Man's unwillingness to give you a home phone number
           -- His contact number? A pager!
           -- Man's unwillingness to invite you over to his home
           -- Man's vagueness about what he does for income
           -- No credit cards (the ATM machine ate my card!)
           -- No personal checking account
           -- Guards his Social Security Number/refuses to give it up for any reason (like something innocent such as getting cable TV or getting medical attention)
           -- Unwillingness to introduce you to his friends
           -- "My family's dead" or "We haven't talked for years" scenarios, keeping you separated from very personal side of his life/past
           -- Never has any cash on him
           -- Horrific/fantastic stories that sound incredible (from terrible accidents or tragedies to great athletic feats/acts of heroism/associations), working for law enforcement/intelligence organizations-- stories of working as a cop, an undercover cop, working with the DEA, CIA, NSA...great example of this? The movie "True Lies"...the guy hitting on Jamie Lee Curtis. (Mysterious vocations.)
           -- No visible assets/means of support
           -- Moves frequently
           -- If you do go the place where he resides, it has that "un-lived in look" and there won't be any personal pictures or mementoes visible
           -- Is suffering from a potentially life-threatening illness, but there's no evidence of this in his medicine cabinet or a paper trail (like insurance claim forms, regular doctor visits, etc.)
           -- Holes in his stories/lapses of time unaccounted for in his past
           -- Stuttering/stammering when certain things are brought up, or when stories don't match or make sense
           -- No photos from his past, either long-term or more immediate past

4. Benjamin Dover's Street-Smart Tips...A Little Investigating Today Goes A Long Way:

1. Public records! Always a terrific source of insight into a person. You get a chance to read through no-bull**** public documents that everyone has access to and see what REALLY happened in his divorce, what the ex got, and what sort of pie they split up. Public records will also help turn up marriage licenses if they were married there, but divorced somewhere else.
   
   Public records will also show up a track record of bad faith or bad deals, a key point to know if you're thinking about something really critical: Sharing your bed with someone is one thing, but sharing a tax return is something even more dangerous! All types of civil litigation will turn up, from personal injury claims (car accident in their past?) to fraud claims, bankruptcy records, real estate transactions, tax records, utility records, Wills & Probate...
   
   Professional associations and licensing boards are another valuable source of checking out stories and past histories: Are they a nurse or a plumber or electrician or stock broker or lawyer or insurance agent or travel agent, for example? If so, this means that they're licensed or certified by some governing body that you can gain access to if you're motivated.

2. What's your birth date? (Use the reliable: "I'm trying to figure out what "sign" you are!" line if you need to.) Great way to learn more about your new beau; once you've got their birth date and full name (or what they tell you their full name is anyway) you've got the keys to start checking out their stories, in he public records, in criminal records, just about anywhere.

3. Social Security Number: Try to get a look at his/her's and see if they match their story. Everyone's Social Security Number tells something about where they're from (for example, my SSN starts with 464, which means it was issued to me in the State of Texas, where I was born and currently reside.). This hammers home the "regionality" of the SSN system... they're numbered and issued sort of like zip codes, and can tell someone where this person was at a relatively early point of their life. [A copy of the Social Security Numbering table are in my books, or available at no charge from the Social Security Administration office in your area.]

4. Criminal histories: With the SSN in hand, go check this person out thoroughly, especially if you fear there's some criminal background or tendencies. (Everyone knows a cop! Go run their number through the computer.)

5. Look in the medicine cabinet: If you do gain access to their home, it's worth taking a look in their medicine cabinet to see what sort of medications they're taking. (It's also a great way to verify their legal name if they have health insurance and are getting reimbursed for their pharmaceutical purchases.)
   
   The medicine cabinet reveals medications that may back up their stories (like anti- inflammatories if they have suffered through a car accident) as well as open your eyes to other medications that alter moods (Prozac, Zoloft, Lithium) and is worth noting early in a potentially serious relationship.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours...credit report, that is: If you're really thinking about spending the rest of your life with a person, it means that you'll be building a little company between the two of you, that's what a marriage really is--it's a profit-and-loss creating entity between two people...so know who you're about to get into financial bed with.

It's serious stuff, and if you want to buy a house, buy a car, etc., you're going to need to know about the good news or bad news in your mate's financial past.

Bad things really do happen to good people, and sooner or later, everyone ends up with some tough spots to work through in their financial lives. But find out sooner rather than later, get copies of all three credit bureau reports for both people getting involved, and then sit down when you've gotten all of the reports in and go over them together. If the other person refuses to do this, then it's time to end the relationship, then and there.

In closing: If you hear someone new in your life say "It's not my fault/it wasn't my fault" more than once inside of an hour, run the other direction as fast as you can!

Handwriting Analysis...A really cool way to see what makes someone tick: The best person in the nation at analyzing and teaching handwriting showed Leeza some tricks of the trade towards the end of the show. Bart Baggett really is terrific at what he does, and if you want more information on getting his materials, check out his website at: www.myhandwriting.com.